| About the book
Since the envoys had brought news of the arrival of the Emperor, Bolesław’s kingdom had been overwhelmed by an all-encompassing state of commotion. Aside from the settlers living deep within the deepest forests, there was probably no one who did not, in some way or other, (...)
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| | About the book
8
The phones are always going wrong, so my parents aren’t upset when there’s no dialling tone. They’re at the fortieth birthday party of a female friend from their class at high school. They say they’re going downstairs to the phone booth for a (...)
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Tomasz TrojanowskiJulka and the cats
About the book
Saturday was supposed to be sunny, warm and extraordinarily pleasant. At least that’s what the weatherman said on Friday, while, smilingly, he was encouraging his viewers to enjoy outdoor activities.
“What are outdoor activities?,” asked Julka.
“It’s a way of passing time,” I gave her an exhaustive answer.
“Which means?,” Julka would not give up.
“That means that instead of reclining all day on the window sill, as some do, one can take a walk or ride a bike.”
“You mean to say that some people enjoy outdoor inactivities?,” without even opening an eye, asked Genio, lying comfortably on my lap.
“I mean to say that some do nothing but rest.”
“Like who?,” with his eyes equally closed, Herman joined the discussion while resting on Lula’s lap.
“For instance our neighbor,” I replied.
“He spends his time reclining on the window sill?,” Genio reluctantly lifted one eyelid. “On which floor?”
“The tenth,” I said.
“Look here, Herman. The big guy is suffering from, those, … hallucinations. Because the neighbor’s house doesn’t have ten floors, only one,” remarked vigilant Genio.
“Dad! Why does our neighbor’s house doesn’t have ten floors, only one?,” inquired Julka and, as usually at such moments, I felt threatened.
“Now I am watching sports news,” I stated.
“But why are you watching sports news?,” Julka, curious as ever, wanted to know everything and know it right away.
“Because I’m interested in them,” I replied, certain that the already kongo-bongo situation would soon short-circuit.
“But why are you interested in them?,” there were no secrets, and Julka was bent on finding out the whole truth about me and the sports news.
“But why do elephants have trunks?,” I retorted.
“Big guy, you are kind of weird,” declared Herman, sticking out his belly so that Lula would pet it and still keeping his eyes closed. “Don’t you know why elephants have trunks?”
“And you do?”
“Sure. Elephants have trunks so that they could wave them around,” explained Herman, the Elephant Expert.
“And also so they could tap other elephants on the shoulder,” added Genio.
“And why would an elephant tap another on the shoulder?,” asked Julka.
“There are different theories on the matter,” Herman, the Elephant Expert, mysteriously broke off.
“Do you know at least one?,” I persisted instead of keeping quiet. Out of my own will. The force exerted by kongo-bongo was irresistible.
“Quite a few,” Herman finally opened his eyes and looked at me with clear signs of pity. No doubt all Elephant Experts react that way to what they consider childish questions.
“Can you present at least one?”
“Certainly. Elephants transmit information through their trunks.”
“Important information,” added the second Expert.
“Important? Like what, for instance?,” I asked.
“For instance, when one elephant points with his trunk to the left, another turns left.”
“And what if he points with his trunk upwards?,” asked Julka.
“If an elephant points upwards, another one will climb a tree,” I replied on behalf of both Elephant Experts.
“But why?,” asked Julka.
“It’s a form of elephants’ outdoor activity: tree-climbing,” I said.
“Lula, have you ever seen an elephant climb a tree?,” asked Herman.
“No, never,” answered Lula and, catching a glimpse of my face, did her best not to burst out laughing.
“And the Big guy did. Some just get lucky,” sighed Genio with faked envy.
“Did I hear right,” said Sophie waking up from her nap, “you want to buy Julka an elephant? Where will it sleep?”
“In the neighbor’s window,” I said, taking Genio off my lap, and went to the kitchen to release myself from the company. I have already given up on the sports news. As well as on the rest of the evening.
I managed to sit down at the table and glance wistfully through the window, when overenthused Sophie ran up to me a moment later.
“Big guy, they say you saw elephants climbing trees in the neighbor’s garden. Is that true?”
I picked Sophie up and carried her back to the living room where an animated discussion continued. I caught scattered words, such as ‘trunks, climbing, gardener, and picking elephants. Everyone fell silent as soon as they saw me.
“Listen,” I started, “tomorrow is Saturday. The weatherman said it would be very warm. Perhaps all of you could go somewhere, while I could spend some time…”
“With elephants up on a tree,” snickered Genio, but calmed down when our eyes met.
“…. spend some time alone. I would listen to some music, read something, and so on. How does that sound?”
“Very well,” agreed Lula. “I propose outdoor activities to everyone: we’ll tidy up the garden.”
“We? What do you mean, ‘we’?,” I asked suspiciously, because usually such declarations as “we will make,” “we will plant,” “we will dig out,” “we will rake,” would end up, due to some unforeseeable circumstances, with me raking, digging, and so on, while the rest of the company, with Lula in the lead, would chase each other round the garden.
“We, that is I, Julka, and the cats. And you’ll listen to some music. How about that?,” asked Lula.
“Sure,” I gave my vigorous consent.
Translated by Ela Kotkowska
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